The Yards Between Us by R.K. Russell

Author:R.K. Russell [Russell, Ryan K.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Disney Book Group
Published: 2023-06-15T00:00:00+00:00

I had fallen hard for Whitney, but I had resisted getting serious with her. All these questions kept popping up in my head that I could not yet answer, and there was growing pressure to figure things out. Every time I logged on to Facebook, I saw another old friend or teammate getting engaged to their high school sweetheart or posting about finding their special someone. Some were already married and talking about starting a family. Texans have an accelerated timeline for love that leaves hardly any room for experimentation, self-discovery, or harmless childhood fun. How many young people making life-altering commitments would discover years down the line that what they wanted might be entirely different from what their parents, their pastors, social media, or television told them?

I didn’t want to be one of those people who made commitments and promises to other people, only to abandon them for my gain or pleasure when they needed me most. I hated being abandoned, and perpetuating that cycle seemed the greatest sin of all. It sounds strange, but how much I cared about Whitney was a big catalyst for my first experimentation with a guy. Other questions would need answering before Whitney and I committed to each other as well. We were about to embark on pro careers in potentially two different places with conflicting schedules. But my undefined sexuality definitely took precedence.

One day, I was at the Training Table with Joe, Antoine, Devin, and some other athletes from different sports. It was a rare time that all our chaotic schedules aligned so that we could share a meal. I overheard some of the basketball players talking about a former teammate of theirs who they suspected was gay. When the guy was referenced as “David’s gay ass,” a couple of the football players asked for clarity. “I don’t know. I just heard he was gay. Something about his ex-girlfriend saying that was the reason they broke up. Too much sugar in the tank.” I laughed at the played-out reference like we had all been programmed to do, but I filed the information away and finished my meal.

Later that evening, in the sanctity of my bed, I opened up Facebook and went to David’s profile. I briefly thought about reaching out to him, but the thought fled my mind as soon as it entered. David was an attractive guy, but I wouldn’t say I was attracted to him. Most of all, he was unsafe. If he truly was gay or questioning, some behavior had apparently alerted others. I couldn’t risk that association. I also felt like something was missing from the story. Exes sometimes said wild things in the aftermath of a breakup. I remember laughing with friends about how someone’s former flame had called them a dog or made fun of their little dick. This rumor had marked David for almost a year now, though. I looked through his profile, wondering how he could be so irresponsible and reckless. How could he

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